19. She did not go to work. She had been lying in her bed, not sleeping, all night. She felt something but she didn’t know what it was. The sun was shining in through her window. She did not look at it.
She stared up at her ceiling and waited for the feeling to pass. It didn’t.
She got out of bed and walked into the living room where the television was on. She looked at the television but all she saw was a kaleidoscope of colors. She left it on and went into the bath room. She didn’t know what she was doing there.
She couldn’t get a hold of her brother on the telephone. Her coworker hadn’t been showing up to work. And worst of all, she didn’t find Strangers funny any more.
She needed to do something to jolt her out of her funk. She looked at the groceries she had bought the other day from the list she’d been keeping on her recliner-side table: milk, crackers, Salvation Dish Detergent, toilet paper, mayonnaise, salt. She still hadn’t put the groceries away. She opened a cabinet and put the crackers in it. It was the cabinet for the pots and pans.
There were dirty dishes in the sink and from underneath a stack of plates with some kind of matter on it she removed a glass. She opened the milk container and poured some milk in the glass.
She sat at her kitchen table not looking at anything. She drank the milk. It tasted warm and sour. She put the empty glass on the table and it made a hollow thunk against the wood. She unscrewed the top of the dish detergent and poured it into the glass and drank it. She threw her head back and opened her throat without tasting the liquid as it oozed into her. She wanted to vomit immediately. Instead she poured another glass and knocked it back.
She came to on the floor in searing pain. There were deep red scratch marks all along her neck from where she had tried to open her throat to relieve the pain. Red foam poured out of her mouth and bubbled as she breathed. Her stomach flip-flopped inside of her. She tried to vomit but couldn’t. She felt on the brink between life and death. With her right arm she stretched for the table and knocked the bottle of detergent off it. She grasped at the bottle and clung to it, falling to the floor overturning it into her mouth. Her whole body heaved. She felt something.
There was a figure in the doorway between her and the window. The light poured in around the figure and obscured its face. She may have been delirious but she thought the figure had an elephant’s head.
When the figure came closer she was writhing on the floor, sweating, flailing, her muscles going rigid and slack. The figure bent over her and she could see that it was an impossibly old woman. In her state, at the absolute lip of death, she thought it was her great, great grandmother come to usher her to the other side.
The old woman reached out a wrinkled hand and touched her eyes.
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She stared up at her ceiling and waited for the feeling to pass. It didn’t.
She got out of bed and walked into the living room where the television was on. She looked at the television but all she saw was a kaleidoscope of colors. She left it on and went into the bath room. She didn’t know what she was doing there.
She couldn’t get a hold of her brother on the telephone. Her coworker hadn’t been showing up to work. And worst of all, she didn’t find Strangers funny any more.
She needed to do something to jolt her out of her funk. She looked at the groceries she had bought the other day from the list she’d been keeping on her recliner-side table: milk, crackers, Salvation Dish Detergent, toilet paper, mayonnaise, salt. She still hadn’t put the groceries away. She opened a cabinet and put the crackers in it. It was the cabinet for the pots and pans.
There were dirty dishes in the sink and from underneath a stack of plates with some kind of matter on it she removed a glass. She opened the milk container and poured some milk in the glass.
She sat at her kitchen table not looking at anything. She drank the milk. It tasted warm and sour. She put the empty glass on the table and it made a hollow thunk against the wood. She unscrewed the top of the dish detergent and poured it into the glass and drank it. She threw her head back and opened her throat without tasting the liquid as it oozed into her. She wanted to vomit immediately. Instead she poured another glass and knocked it back.
She came to on the floor in searing pain. There were deep red scratch marks all along her neck from where she had tried to open her throat to relieve the pain. Red foam poured out of her mouth and bubbled as she breathed. Her stomach flip-flopped inside of her. She tried to vomit but couldn’t. She felt on the brink between life and death. With her right arm she stretched for the table and knocked the bottle of detergent off it. She grasped at the bottle and clung to it, falling to the floor overturning it into her mouth. Her whole body heaved. She felt something.
There was a figure in the doorway between her and the window. The light poured in around the figure and obscured its face. She may have been delirious but she thought the figure had an elephant’s head.
When the figure came closer she was writhing on the floor, sweating, flailing, her muscles going rigid and slack. The figure bent over her and she could see that it was an impossibly old woman. In her state, at the absolute lip of death, she thought it was her great, great grandmother come to usher her to the other side.
The old woman reached out a wrinkled hand and touched her eyes.
next